written: 10/03/12 (originally posted on Twitter)
fandom: Bandom (Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, The Academy Is..., Cobra Starship)
pairing: Ryan Ross/Brenon Urie, Pete Wentz/Patrick Stump, Gabe Saporta/William Beckett, Spencer Smith/Irritation
warnings for: Twitter!fic, crack, run-on sentences
notes: title from Emma Goldman's quote, "If I can't dance to it, it's not my revolution."
So, are there any FOB-owns-a-music-boutique-and-then-there-a
And maybe Brendon and Ryan have lessons one right after the other, so they only ever see each other in passing, but there are many longing glances and speaking looks between the two of them, and Pete and Patrick look on with paternal pride as their proteges learn skillz, but meanwhile Spencer is laughing at RyRo's pain?
And also William and Gabe. GABE IS HIS TEACHER AND WILLIAM IS TAKING VOICE LESSONS AND THEIR LOVE IS VERBOTEN BECAUSE GABE DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT, MOLESTING THIS YOUNG BIT OF JAILBAIT WITH GORGEOUS PIPES (AND GORGEOUS STEMS) WHEN HE'S GETTING PAID FOR IT. So there is much angsting on that end, because Gabe knows he's pretty much a creeper, but William's VOICE and William's ADORATION makes him want to be WORTHY, so nothing happens but UST and a lot of ~choice musical arrangements.
Meanwhile, RyRo and Bden still haven't had a chance to TALK to each other, but Ryan has been ~captivated by, like, Brendon's EYEBROWS or his WRISTS or something, and he's been furiously songwriting about it all. Lots of metaphors about fleeting beauty and unnamed knowledge and birds in flight. And Patrick gets to HEAR THEM ALL at guitar lessons because they've gotten past the basics and are moving into composing, and Ryan needs a professional ear for this, okay?
And like, Brendon's taking the lesson immediately after Ryan's, right? So he always goes in with a grin on his face (because he loves guitar! Obviously!) but also, like, yearning looks out into the lobby for a few minutes while he tunes.
And Pete's out front, manning the cash register and selling how-to manuals and hanging Battle of the Bands flyers for the local high school, right? So he TOTALLY sees all this going on from an Outsider's Perspective (and also Spencer's eye rolling as he picks Ryan up from lessons in Mrs. Smith's wood-paneling sedan, it's SO 1970s it's ridiculous).
And maybe, while he's waiting for Ryan to finish up, Spencer commiserates with Pete over the sheer level of RIDICULOUS PINING that is going on over here (let us not forget about lecherous Gabe and bendy young William, after all), so between all the commiseration, Spencer and Pete begin CONSPIRING. They make PLANS. There is SCHEMING & DEVILMENT AFOOT.
What the plan boils down to is basically this: a series of reminders and confusions.
Step One- remind Gabe that prison sucks, and that William's birthday is in three months. If that doesn't work, remind Gabe that he'd never forgive himself if he stifled William's creative spirit. Step One-A is to get William into the high school's honor choir, so he gets voice lessons for free during school hours (so that Gabe won't feel like he's "prostituting himself on the altar of William's love," according to Pete). (Spencer just rolls his eyes some more.)
Step Two of the master plan (Pete wanted to call it Plan: Writing Sins Not Tragedies. Spencer wanted to call Pete melodramatic, but he worried it might cost him a co-conspirator) was as follows: arrange a convenient scheduling mixup for Ryan and Brendon's lessons. Lock Ryan and Brendon in the practice space at the back of the shop. Wait for Ryan and Brendon to get over themselves and either make music together or make out with each other. ("They'd make music together, alright," Pete might have leered at Spencer, over the countertop. "You're a really nosy douche," Spencer might have replied in turn.) And finally, lock Patrick in the supply closet with all the spare rosins and picks ("And Petes!"), so that he didn't interfere with Ryan and Brendon.
AND THE STUFF HAPPENS, BECAUSE WHEN DOES THE PLAN EVER GO ACCORDING TO PLAN, BUT THERE ARE HAPPY ENDINGS FOR EVERYONE THE END
So, um, yeah. Are there any of those kinds of fics, anywhere on the internet? (The previous Tweets were inspired by waiting at the local music shop to pick up my sister's rock stop. You're welcome.)